Valentine’s Day. This is a day that produces a wide range of emotions from people rivaled by few others. For some, it is a day to celebrate the love you share with your significant other or spouse. For others, it is a day filled with expectations (real or imagined) to prove yourself to the person you care about. Still others, it’s just another day on the calendar, and it comes and goes without a second thought.
For others, feelings of dread are stirred as the day approaches. The day isn’t something to be celebrated, but is a harsh reminder that another year has passed and one is still single. Seeing the apparent happiness of all the couples with their romantic tribute posts and pictures on social media throughout the day only pours salt on an already open wound. For some, Valentine’s Day seems like a sick anniversary of a prison sentence to singleness, made all the worse by the fact that one does not know when (or even if) they will be released.
For many singles, the day is one where it becomes hard to trust in the promises of God. If only we knew when we would find a spouse or if we’d be single for life, then at least we could work to come to peace with that, but instead, the apparent prison of singleness emotionally crushes one with the weight of no known end date. And in this, God often feels distant, and we wonder if he’s completely forgotten about us. During times like these, we must look to Scripture for comfort and answers, and I think great comfort can come from Joseph’s story.
Through no fault of his own, Joseph was condemned to an Egyptian prison for allegedly attempting to assault Potiphar’s wife. He was given no sentence. He was simply placed there, with no knowledge of when or if he would ever be released. Although Scripture does not tell us what was going through Joseph’s mind during this period, we can safely say that this would have been an immense trial of faith for him, just as an extended period of unwanted singleness can be a trial. His condition was certainly exacerbated when he interpreted the cupbearer’s dream, and as time passed, he realized that the cupbearer had either forgotten him or the good word he put in for Joseph was ignored, just as singles become excited at a new romantic prospect, only to see their hopes dashed into a million pieces for one reason or another. Often, not only do we feel trapped in a condition from which we cannot escape, we sometimes feel as if others, and maybe even God, have forgotten about us.
But as we know, this was not the end of Joseph’s story. At the right time, God raised Joseph up from his prison to a position that Joseph could not have even dreamed of. He was second only to Pharoah over all of Egypt, one of the most powerful kingdoms of his day. Forgotten in a prison to ruling over a nation in a single day.
In Joseph’s story, I believe the single who feels that they are trapped in a hopeless situation can find immense comfort and encouragement. Just as in a moment, Joseph was raised up out of his prison, so in a moment, Christ shall raise us up.
What are we promised? Paul writes, “ Behold! I tell you a mystery. We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we shall be changed” (1 Cor. 15:51-52 ESV). What a promise! Whether we are resurrected or Christ returns in our lifetime, God promises us that the state that we are in now is not all there is. This world is filled with pain, but we can take comfort in the fact that one day, in a moment, all of that will change.
Remember that we are “heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him” (Rom. 8:17 ESV). Don’t gloss over this promise! After all the suffering we endure in this life, including unwanted singleness, we will be co-heirs with Christ to all of God’s blessings, and we will reign over the New Creation forever and ever (Rev. 22:5)! You cannot get a better promise than an eternal kingdom where we will see Jesus face to face. These blessings will make up for all the suffering that you have endured a million times over.
Joseph was in a prison, and suddenly, God raised him and made him ruler over an entire kingdom with Pharoah, but in a moment we’ll be raised to be co-heirs with Christ to rule over an infinitely better Kingdom where we will be with him forever. One day, we will be released, not into the arms of a spouse, but into the arms of our Savior.
Although it’s often difficult to see God’s hand of providence in these situations, think on Joseph’s perspective. To the casual observer, they would see that his brothers unjustly kidnapped him and sold him into slavery, which lead to years of suffering that just so happened to turn out well for him in the end. But Joseph doesn’t see it that way. Instead, Joseph sees God’s hand of providence in his life. He sees that God intended for him to be kidnapped, sold, and sent to Egypt for his purposes.
In the same way, your singleness may seem pointless, if not outright personally harmful and wrong, but even in what may seem like pointless suffering, God is working out his amazing purposes in your life, just as he was in Joseph’s. You may not see it, but just as Joseph’s suffering was not pointless, your suffering in your prolonged singleness is also not pointless. Although God does not promise everyone that would like a spouse one in this life, he does promise us he will be with us through all our trials and that our faithfulness will not go unrewarded.
“For close, remember this, that your life is short, your duties many, your assistance great, and your reward sure; therefore faint not, hold on and hold up, in ways of welldoing, and heaven shall make amends for all.”1